My Studies on Snot
After the "tremendous" success of "My Studies on Crap" I decided to write another informal study of mine... snot.
I recently had a cold in hot weather that was occasionaly humid and damp. This brings about almost all the types of snot you can encounter in your busy life.
There are mainly three different types of snot: Runny snot, Hard 'n Crusty snot, and Gooey Snot.
Runny Snot
This snot happens, as previously mentioned, when you are suffering from a cold, or have some sickness. The snot usually takes a clear color, and flows out of one's nostril quite well. Runny snot can be felt running down one's nose, and is not a pleasant experience. The best thing to counter runny snot is a low-tech piece of cotton-polyester synthetic microbe killing tissue paper. Runny snot sucks when one is in a busy meeting or school presentation, like one I was in.
I was constantly snorting my runny snot back into my nostril, and I could feel the runny snot slowly filter down my throat. Then I coughed it back up in the form of a luigi (to the utter disgust of my slowly nausiating classmates) and spit it out onto the dirty carpet floor, causing a stream of explict words to come out of my fretful teacher's mouth.
Which leads me to the fact that partially runny snot causes luigis. A luigi is all the mucus and snot that has run down into your throat. Once you feel a luigi, you best cough it up and spit it up, cause it feels really weird if you leave it down there. Luigis are great fun though. Next time you see someone of the opposite sex, just cough one up and spit it out, all the while moaning, "Shit, it was the raisins! I hate raisins!"
Hard 'n Crusty Snot
This is the type of snot you experience in dry and hot weather. The snot first becomes a bit gooey, and then becomes hard. This sometimes stinks cause when you are rubbing your nose, the hard snot scratches the inside of your nose, which always causes an uncomfortable feeling. The snot though, has a very nice consistancy, and does quite nicely if one is out of spitballs to shoot. Otherwise, not much to talk about this type of snot other than the fact that this is the most common type of snot.
Gooey Snot
And finally, gooey snot. This is the type of snot that is most people think about when you say "snot." It has a very gummy texture to it, and is quite sticky. It is often mixed in the nostril with some hard 'n crusty snot. Hard 'n Crusty snot is the next stage of Gooey snot. Gooey snot does not move around much, thank heavens. If it did, it would be hard to attract members of the opposite sex. I mean, how are you supposed to get girls when you have slime dripping from the dark realm of your nostrils? Yeah.
Speaking of dark realm, gooey snot can be balled up quite quickly. When initially fiddling and balling up your small piece of gooey snot, it is a faint yellow, or maybe a pale grey. After balling it up and rolling it up into a little ball, the color switches to a dark brown, and sometimes, if you're lucky, you can get it to become gold. "How?" you may ask. "That's flipping amazing!"
The reason the snot changes colors is because of all the dirt and grime that is stuck in the tiny crevices of your finger. Disgusting, sure, but it's science! So next time there's Show and Tell at your school, just stick your finger up your nose, take out a wedge of gooey snot, and show how it changes colors.
You'll leave the room, escorted by your teacher, with dirty looks and a tarnished reputation forever.
Song of the Day (STD)- "Starlight"- Muse
I recently had a cold in hot weather that was occasionaly humid and damp. This brings about almost all the types of snot you can encounter in your busy life.
There are mainly three different types of snot: Runny snot, Hard 'n Crusty snot, and Gooey Snot.
Runny Snot
This snot happens, as previously mentioned, when you are suffering from a cold, or have some sickness. The snot usually takes a clear color, and flows out of one's nostril quite well. Runny snot can be felt running down one's nose, and is not a pleasant experience. The best thing to counter runny snot is a low-tech piece of cotton-polyester synthetic microbe killing tissue paper. Runny snot sucks when one is in a busy meeting or school presentation, like one I was in.
I was constantly snorting my runny snot back into my nostril, and I could feel the runny snot slowly filter down my throat. Then I coughed it back up in the form of a luigi (to the utter disgust of my slowly nausiating classmates) and spit it out onto the dirty carpet floor, causing a stream of explict words to come out of my fretful teacher's mouth.
Which leads me to the fact that partially runny snot causes luigis. A luigi is all the mucus and snot that has run down into your throat. Once you feel a luigi, you best cough it up and spit it up, cause it feels really weird if you leave it down there. Luigis are great fun though. Next time you see someone of the opposite sex, just cough one up and spit it out, all the while moaning, "Shit, it was the raisins! I hate raisins!"
Hard 'n Crusty Snot
This is the type of snot you experience in dry and hot weather. The snot first becomes a bit gooey, and then becomes hard. This sometimes stinks cause when you are rubbing your nose, the hard snot scratches the inside of your nose, which always causes an uncomfortable feeling. The snot though, has a very nice consistancy, and does quite nicely if one is out of spitballs to shoot. Otherwise, not much to talk about this type of snot other than the fact that this is the most common type of snot.
Gooey Snot
And finally, gooey snot. This is the type of snot that is most people think about when you say "snot." It has a very gummy texture to it, and is quite sticky. It is often mixed in the nostril with some hard 'n crusty snot. Hard 'n Crusty snot is the next stage of Gooey snot. Gooey snot does not move around much, thank heavens. If it did, it would be hard to attract members of the opposite sex. I mean, how are you supposed to get girls when you have slime dripping from the dark realm of your nostrils? Yeah.
Speaking of dark realm, gooey snot can be balled up quite quickly. When initially fiddling and balling up your small piece of gooey snot, it is a faint yellow, or maybe a pale grey. After balling it up and rolling it up into a little ball, the color switches to a dark brown, and sometimes, if you're lucky, you can get it to become gold. "How?" you may ask. "That's flipping amazing!"
The reason the snot changes colors is because of all the dirt and grime that is stuck in the tiny crevices of your finger. Disgusting, sure, but it's science! So next time there's Show and Tell at your school, just stick your finger up your nose, take out a wedge of gooey snot, and show how it changes colors.
You'll leave the room, escorted by your teacher, with dirty looks and a tarnished reputation forever.
Song of the Day (STD)- "Starlight"- Muse
