Coloring with Nelson

Somebody ate too many beans...

Today is the last day of school of this week. the reason that schools out for tomarrow is because of some holiday, I forget which. Oh yeah, its veterans day.

I think that farting is a great bodily function. It gets the body rid of unwanted gas, and it makes a funny sound. There are so many different types of farts. Have you noticed that? Some farts are thin and squeeky. It goes, "Beeeeeeeeeeeeep, beeeeeep." Those have almost no smell, and usually make everyone laugh. Then there is what I call, "The boom." This one is loud and noisy. It usually goes like this. "BOOOPPBOOOOOOOBOOBBBOBOOOBPPBOPPPBOOPPP!" This makes everyone turn around, and usually generates some comments and laughs. "Holy crap, Tucker, that was a monster!" "Tucker, what is wrong with you?" "Tucker, shut down on the beans, will ya?" and so on and so forth. The third one is the most deadly of all. I call it the "invisible creeper." These farts are very very quiet. They almost make no sound. And it comes out real slow. You can sort of feel it puffing up your boxers with gas. Then it leaks and creeps out of your underwear reeeealll slow. It then absolutely STINKS the air. It smells like a cross between your older brother's socks and old banana peels. And then, like all together, everyone screams, "WHAT WAS THAT!?!?!?!" and they all start to put their shirts over their noses and run outside for some fresh air. The best thing is when your sitting in a crowded gym, having a pep rally, and you let one of those loose. And the whole crowd jumps out of their pants and groans...I did that once. And everyone thought it was the fat kid in front of us...haha.

I'm seriously thinking about volunteering. I think I'll volunteer at the Red Cross. I really want one of those red cross shirts. Those are so neat, with their red crosses on the sides and back. I wonder why they dont market that. They would make a whole lot of money.

I wonder, what would a hybrid of a monkey and a watermelon look like? See, this is the kind of stuff I think about in my spare time. I have a lot of good thoughts. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if you swallow alot of helium and then jump of a plane. Would you float because there is less gravity there? I don't know.

I think I'll go cry in the corner in a fetal position.